Pullin' Piggy

Ari Brown  

One of the better parts of living in your own place is owning a freezer big enough to store things in bulk. What I’m rocking isn’t exactly a veritable meat locker, but I’ve got that thing packed up, chock full of salmon, sausages, duck legs, and pork shoulder.

My first meeting with pork shoulder of the uncooked variety was when I was looking for the cheapest cut of meat I could find that wasn’t shitty chicken. I was young and in love when I first saw the price tag of under $2.00/lb — I knew I had to make it mine. I talked to my boyzzz behind the meat counter and asked them what I could do with that deliciously priced piece of meat. Instead of words, they joined together in song and dance as the heavens opened up and rained down pulled pork recipes upon my ignorant soul. (Pro Tip: talk to the guys behind the meat counter. They know all and are more than happy to help you figure out how to cook something or even what to eat that night.)

As I write this, I’ve got 12 lbs of pork shoulder in the oven. No lie, I think it’s too much meat for this recipe since it’s cut into the shape of a fucking cube, and the probability that the center will be cooked appropriately after 4 hours is slim to none.

Pulled pork is simple. I recommend making this on a day when you have a lot of homework to do. The pork is cooked in three stages, and one of these stages is pretty much bullshit. The quick rundown is the following: primary cooking, tined cooking, and sauced cooking. The whole recipe takes 6 hours.

The primary cooking phase is the first phase, and it lasts 4 hours. Preheat the oven to 275°F, check Facebook for a lil bit, then come back. Put the meat in large chunks in the roasting pan — you DO have a roasting pan, right? — add your spices, add the purp’ drank (sugared soda of your choice DO NOT CHOOSE DIET I REPEAT DO NOT CHOOSE DIET), place the lid on, throw it in the oven, and get on with your life. (Fuck, I am so far behind in my work right now. You had better make this recipe or all my effort will have been in vain.) The spices should be salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, dry mustard, onions, and garlic. Once again, I know I don’t have to say this again, but just for funsies I will: LARGE CRYSTAL SEA SALT and CRUSHED PEPPERCORNS.

The second phase is simple: you take out the pan; drain the excess liquid (save the onions god damnit), and tine the pork. Tining is really easy: you take two forks and use the tines of the fork (the sharp things that stick out) to pull apart the pork. Put the lid back on, throw that shit back in the oven. Chill out for another 1.5 hours.

The third phase is where you add barbecue sauce, stir, and taste. Repeat as necessary. Once perfect, cook for another 30 minutes. Boom. Roasted.


Spices:
    2.5 lb. pork tenderloin
    salt & pepper to taste
    1 large onion, chopped
    4 cloves of garlic, minced
    1.5 teaspoons ground dry mustard
    2 to 3 teaspoons ground cayenne pepper
    1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
    3 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Purp' Drank
    24 oz of Dr. Pepper

Recipe based off of slash stolen from Mama Foodie